How do I know if I am with the right person?
Difficult times in intimate relationships can often be gifts in that they open the door to a deeper exploration of ourselves and our partners. Seen in this light, therapy can be seen as a step towards mutual evolution, rather than just a problem-solving endeavor.
While our wounds and vulnerabilities are shaped by our earliest relationships with our care-takers, we often remain unaware of them until we get involved in intimate relationships. We find ourselves disappointed with ourselves for not being loving enough and/or we blame our partner for not meeting our deepest needs. Neither of these reactions helps us to move towards true healing.
When you come to see me, I try to create a safe atmosphere in which each of you can discover what you really want and need from a loving relationship, and how you may be getting in your own way and preventing yourself from getting your desires met. My hope is that through this process, each of you will come to understand and empathize with your partner’s struggles, and be able to have meaningful conversations with your partner, rather than feeling more alone and alienated.
Please write me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 510-843-5683
“You can only merge with someone if you can also separate. The more you can enter into deep solitude, the more fully you can merge with another person. If you’ve lost your solitude, you’ve lost that place of silence and of waiting, of thinking and of weighing and measuring your own experience and of determining whether you are on or off path”